Sunday, August 8, 2010

August and everything after

This year is well beyond half over, and truthfully, I'm not sure where it went! How can it be August? How can I have already extended my time in Kenya, but have 45 short days left to live my life here? And, given such a time line, how can I get out of my perpetual school rut and get back into the awareness and immersion that this experience has been so ripe with throughout.

I had great meetings with my supervisors before a short two week trip home (from which I just returned) and thought I'd hit the ground running when I got back, finally getting to the point where I can present and move forward with my research. But, in my truest of academic fashions, I've hit the skids and have spent the last three days staring blankly at my computer, listlessly making my way through print outs, feeling vaguely aware that there is a plethora of information through which I must sort and coherently put together and whew, that makes me want to take a nap (jet lag doesn't help). I think today I've realized I need to detach from my macbook, go for a walk, chat over coffee and give myself a break from myself. Because I can't say I'm taking a break from work, because I haven't really been getting anything done. But here's hoping tomorrow that changes.

That said, life looms large ahead with a September 21st departure from Kenya fixed. And it's unlikely I will be "done" and I'm ok with that if I could just get anywhere but here with my project. And the exciting thing is I get to look forward to breaking from academia and back into reality - back to shared work spaces and dreams of that perfect job coming through. It may not, but I'm excited to get back into the vision stage, because this stage, well this stage is not so good for the psyche. But give me people, give me ideas, give me vision - and I'll be back on track in no time.

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