Sunday, February 7, 2010

Dumb Sunday

Nairobi's hot streak finally gave way to scattered (and sometimes strangely heavy) showers this last week which has made for days of infrequent bouts of glorious sun. Though today presented a multitude of opportunities in which to enjoy said sun (from climbing, to football to live music), I took the high road in the hopes of savoring a productive day at home. That was dumb. I sat at home, glued to my computer, willing myself to work, and then doing just the opposite. One of the residual lessons I am learning in my time here is to seize the day (a favorite mantra of my father, though it once came through in an email as "sneeze the day" - somewhat fitting if you know him). And yet today I broke my own rule to take advantage of friendship and fun opportunities, because the work load is extreme right now, and I've had so little time to catch up on sleep, get my affairs in order and get stuff done at home. Lesson learned: school work at the library, paid work at home in the evenings - use the day to seek the sun and the people that make your heart sing (or might, if you got to know them better!).

As I think about next steps (which I do, often), it's days like this that throw me for a loop. By the end of it, I wanted to jump on a plane tomorrow, take the first job offer I've had and settle back into a life in which I am known and comfortable. To be able to have those Sunday afternoons with family and friends that simply fall into place, that don't require great plans or trade offs by nature of their flexibility. And yet had I done any of the things I could have today, I know I would have been in high spirits, caught in the feeling of wonder that smacks me upside the head so often here with a simple statement of "look what you get to do/be/see/know here." The world of my heart and my history is so far away, but the world of my hands and my mind is all around - ready to be made into something of purpose. It makes knowing what comes next, or what should come next, so incredibly difficult. And yet even in the down times, the undercurrent of blessings remains, giving some comfort to all the decisions that lie ahead.

(On the topic of blessings, it's all coming up babies these days...welcome to the world Maggie Charlize Obrist and Shaifali Rose Nagase! Maureen is due in a week and a half - on the third day of my exams, in fact. Keep her (and me!) in your prayers).

1 comment:

Stacy Hendricks said...

Beautifully said! Really reminds me of my time in Ghana, and the constant juxtaposition of everything around you and within you, versus everything so far away and still within you. Africa sends you away from yourself so far that it actually brings you home again....